If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize