yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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