So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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