At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My breath smells like gin and sadness
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
