How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
