Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
