ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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