My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
