i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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