Betty ford says i'm here all night
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
