summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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