The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
