I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
