so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize