I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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