we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
