I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
