Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
