So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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