I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
