areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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