when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
