All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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