I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
