the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
