Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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