I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
is it fun? or sober?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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