we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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