Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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