I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
