I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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