How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
being pregnant is like rehab
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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