Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
