Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
