covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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