I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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