the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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