I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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