you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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