Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize