Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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