I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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