Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
