y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize