my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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