I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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