so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize