how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
