It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
