I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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