so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
