So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
