i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
