I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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