I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
