i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
