Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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