Screwed.edu
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
