Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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