Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
