I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
