Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
