god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
