you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
