All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize