Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
