so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
