i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So many bounce houses so little time
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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