jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
