I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize