You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
