He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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