This is not my ceiling
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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