Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
