OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I didn't notice because vodka
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
