Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
