I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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