She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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