Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
